In Nebraska we serve mountain oysters. Customers are always asking us to explain what they are. Bull fries, bull testicles, balls, nuts. The last part to go over the fence. Yes, that's what they are. Now you know. Why are they called oysters? They don't even look like oysters. And what do they taste like? Well it isn't chicken. Try one. You will be all cool telling your friends that you actually ate these things.
Another embarrassing waitress thing is when other servers write obscene material on the back of your order pad which says things like, "Sex is great!" And you're standing there like an idiot because you don't know what the customer is giggling at while you take their order.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Tips to waitresses
Here's something all waitresses are guilty of. Let's say you forget to hang a ticket, or put one into the computer that sends it to the cook. You are watching your people get fidgety waiting for their food. You're thinking, "What's taking that order so long?" Then you realize it's not the cooks fault. So you rush into the kitchen, hang the ticket, and tell the cook that the people are in a HURRY, or you might even admit to him that you forgot to turn the order in...(NAAH)...Anyway, then you go out and tell the people that it will be a few minutes because the COOK had lost their ticket, or misplaced their order or something. Maybe you will still get your tip, the people will at least be semi-happy, and the cook will never know that you blamed him for everything. hee hee. Ahh, the life of a waitress.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Tips about cooks
Keep the dishwashers back in the kitchen where they belong. Let the bus kids carry out the dishes. They're dressed for the part. Some peoples appetites are ruined because they see some slopped up dishwasher coming out into the main restaurant part with gunk all over his apron carrying, soup, clean dishes, and silverware. Then when his hands are free he cleans out his ear with a car key. Yeah, I've seen that happen.
The same goes for cooks wandering all over the restaurant with a dirty apron on. Keep the cooks in the kitchen so the customers can fantasize how their cook looks. They picture him clean, with a chef hat on, happy and agreeable to cook and substitute any dish they desire. Where in reality the cook is some guy yelling, "Drop the fries!" wearing a greasy apron with hand prints on each side.
Cooks automatically hate anyone who sends back a plate to be recooked because it was over or under cooked. All cooks think that they are perfect and only send out perfect plates, and they can't stand it when anyone complains. You the customer will never know this. You are thinking they will graciously re-cook whatever you wanted, but you will still get lambasted behind the grill. The only way they will actually gracefully re-cook something is if it was the waitresses fault, or the customers fault: Such as the waitress dropped it as she was serving it, or the customer dropped it. It can't be a complaint about HOW the food was cooked. And when he's faced with a substitution he mumbles obscenities to himself. Believe me, there is NO cook who LIKES to substitute things on the menu. They will do it, but none of them like to even if you are their so called "favorite" customer.
And remember, no matter how nice you are when you complain about the food, service, or no matter how sweet you are when you ask to substitute something, we will still talk about you in the kitchen when you leave, and we will be ready for you next time.
The same goes for cooks wandering all over the restaurant with a dirty apron on. Keep the cooks in the kitchen so the customers can fantasize how their cook looks. They picture him clean, with a chef hat on, happy and agreeable to cook and substitute any dish they desire. Where in reality the cook is some guy yelling, "Drop the fries!" wearing a greasy apron with hand prints on each side.
Cooks automatically hate anyone who sends back a plate to be recooked because it was over or under cooked. All cooks think that they are perfect and only send out perfect plates, and they can't stand it when anyone complains. You the customer will never know this. You are thinking they will graciously re-cook whatever you wanted, but you will still get lambasted behind the grill. The only way they will actually gracefully re-cook something is if it was the waitresses fault, or the customers fault: Such as the waitress dropped it as she was serving it, or the customer dropped it. It can't be a complaint about HOW the food was cooked. And when he's faced with a substitution he mumbles obscenities to himself. Believe me, there is NO cook who LIKES to substitute things on the menu. They will do it, but none of them like to even if you are their so called "favorite" customer.
And remember, no matter how nice you are when you complain about the food, service, or no matter how sweet you are when you ask to substitute something, we will still talk about you in the kitchen when you leave, and we will be ready for you next time.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Dating Tips
Women, forget the computer dating services. If you want to meet guys, become a waitress. You will get all the guys you want and then some. You will also get guys you don't want. Customers are always falling in love with their waitress. They've even written some movies about it. Just check out "As Good as it Gets, or "It Could Happen to You.". That movie is every waitresses dream, (to have someone win the lottery and leave half of it to you as a tip).
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Welcome to my blog.
I've been in the food service industry for many years. If you haven't worked in the industry you have probably dined out a few times or have gone through a drive through or something. If you haven't ever eaten anyplace except home, then you can still identify with some of these situations because your Mom is the waitress and you are the diner. So with that said, welcome to the best waitress blog on earth, where I will gripe about everything under the sun related to the food service industry.
Waitressing is a universal job, and now days "waitress" is becoming an obsolete word. "Server" is more politically correct. But for the purpose of not having to say the generic "server" I am writing this from the perspective of a waitress. Please realize I'm not putting down waiters or men. Men and women do this job equally well. I am also referring to the cook as "He". It just makes it easier. So keeping this in mind, let me take you to the back rooms of the kitchen, and inside the minds of the many people who prepare and bring you the food you order.
Waitressing is a universal job, and now days "waitress" is becoming an obsolete word. "Server" is more politically correct. But for the purpose of not having to say the generic "server" I am writing this from the perspective of a waitress. Please realize I'm not putting down waiters or men. Men and women do this job equally well. I am also referring to the cook as "He". It just makes it easier. So keeping this in mind, let me take you to the back rooms of the kitchen, and inside the minds of the many people who prepare and bring you the food you order.
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